Joy & Sadness: The Tension

Recently our daughter got her braces off.  She had worn them for over four years-yeah that’s a long time.  She spent 23% of her life in braces.  Her High School friends had never seen her without braces.  From eighth grade to 12th grade-all braces, all the time.  It was a celebration, we went out to dinner and toasted her beautiful, straight teeth.  Weeks later I’m just getting used to seeing her without braces.

We celebrated, but I was also sad.  My little girl is growing up.  I’m in the tension of joy and sadness.  Joy that she’s growing up into an amazing woman, sadness because she’s growing up and I want just a little more of right now.  

Life moves on, life moves forward and the tension is there are things we’d like to stay the same but we’d be devastated if they did stay the same.  Am I making sense?  If Anika’s mental, emotional, spiritual, academic or physical life was frozen, Penny and I would be devastated.  We really don’t want her to stall out-if she stopped growing physically when she was five years old, we would have seen doctors and specialists to help figure out what was going on.  When she hits an emotional barrier, we find a counselor to help her move forward.  When she’s stuck in a subject, we hire a tutor.  

I’m getting all philosophical (and emotional) today, but that’s what happens when you’re just a few months from taking her to college.  The truth is I want Anika to move forward, to grow, to improve, to graduate from braces, from High School, from College and into a forward moving career.  It’s never a straight line-she was inconsistent with wearing her rubber bands on her teeth and so things stalled out-but though it took 23% of her life, she got it done.

I am so proud and happy that my daughter is growing up.  Do I want to go back, do I want to have a little more time with her as a 17 year old?-of course I do.  But I really don’t, I really want her to grow and mature and become the woman that God created her to be.  I want her to find that place where she uses all of her talents to serve God in His Kingdom.  Unless you’re growing, you’ll never find your fullness-you’ll never achieve your full potential.

So with a tear in my eye, or streaming down my cheeks I cheer on Anika’s growth.  I can’t wait to see what God has for her, and how God uses her.  I can’t wait to see her thrive.  Truly, I am thankful I get to live in the tension of wanting a few more days of my little girl with her braces on, while at the same time celebrating who she is and who she is becoming.  GO ANIKA!!! your Mom and I are cheering you on!!!