Call An Audible
Once the plan is set, I very rarely stray from the plan. If I say I’m going to do it, then it’s going to happen. I am reliable and responsible. My top Strengthsfinders strength is “Responsibility.” I am emotionally committed to my plans. When I don’t keep my word I literally have emotions of guilt and shame. Just thinking about changing my mind brings up feelings of guilt. Some of you are nodding your head knowingly, and others of you have no idea what I’m talking about, if you’re in the latter group you probably don’t need to read the rest of this blog :).
Responsibility and keeping to the plan is a good and noble attribute, but there are times I need to be a little more “fly by the seat of my pants.” For all the spontaneous folks out there, you’re laughing right now because that’s normal life for you. We all have that friend that you can call up at any time and invite to a show and if they’re free they’re there-no questions asked. They’ll even break plans with somebody else if your option is better. I’m just not that guy. It is grinding gears for me to change my plans-even if those plans were to sit on the couch and watch the latest episode of Lasso, or finish Mare of Easttown.
Summer is winding down, and other than the big summer vacation, my daughter and I haven’t done much together this summer. I’m feeling that parental gnawing aka guilt of “I could have done more with her this summer.” On a Wednesday, all of my Thursday afternoon meetings randomly went away, my calendar went from booked to empty. I literally had no obligations. At about 8:30 on Wednesday night, I decided I’m taking tomorrow afternoon off and Anika and I are going to a 12:30 baseball game: Giants vs. Dodgers. I was immediately exhilarated, and at the same time feeling guilty. I was really hoping that my boss didn’t call during the game- there’s no hiding the sound of a ballgame in the background. But you know what? The window opened up and I decided I’m jumping through it. I’m mixing it up, being spontaneous and making memories with my daughter.
Literally, as I was packing up my bags to take off for the game my boss CAME INTO THE OFFICE, just like that parent who always seems to walk in just as you’re doing something wrong. She hadn’t been in the office in two weeks. There was no hiding, there was no pretending I have meetings… that’s another of my attributes-I just can’t lie (any more), I’m going to take my lumps if I have to, but I will be honest. My daughter was already on the train to San Francisco, and I had to meet her at the California Ave Caltrain station, the train had literally left the station. The waves of guilt started to rush over me as I packed my bag. As I was walking out I said “I’ll be out of the office this afternoon.” And as would be expected my boss asked “where are you going?” So I told her, all my meetings got cancelled and I decided last night to go to the ball game with my daughter today. I felt relieved that she knew, but I hoped she wouldn’t pile on any guilt because I was already carrying plenty. Thankfully she said “have fun, you have some PTO so enjoy your afternoon.” It was great to travel guilt free and phone call free. My daughter and I had so much fun sitting in the bleachers at Oracle Park. Life doesn’t get better than a sunny afternoon in San Francisco AND watching the Giants beat the Dodgers.
For all of you spontaneity-challenged folks, I know we can’t do it every day, but sometimes we have to go against our normal intuition and mix it up. My Dad always used to say “life is short” and “you only live once.” Hanging with my daughter for an afternoon was a gift, a memory we’ll never forget. Nothing I would have done in the office that Thursday afternoon would have been memorable or even that important. Make a memory, play hookie, change up the routine, call a friend out of the blue and see if they’re available for dinner tonight. For us routine people, changing it up every once in a while can be just the re-set we need.